My thoughts on history, Las Vegas, and Texas evangelical women

An organization for women called IF:Gathering, the brainchild of Jennie Allen, offers lots of resources, primarily for a Millennial audience. I've been filming some short commentary for their series on Church History with my colleague Glenn Kreider. And here's one that ran this week: AD2 W3D1 - The Crusades Commence from IF : Equip on Vimeo.

Also,  an article on how to minister in the wake of violence in Las Vegas and the string of natural disasters, ran on the Pastor Resources site as well as on KCBI radio's blog.Then I got quoted in what I thought was going to be an article about Texas evangelical women, but it ended up really focused on Jenn Hatmaker for Texas Monthly magazine.And KCBI-Dallas radio station interviewed me for an on-air audio segment about suffering in the wake of the Las Vegas tragedy. It aired October 3 and was edited for release in their Heartstrings podcast about suffering and God’s ways the next day:https://www.heartstrongfaith.com/heartstrong-faith-podcast-dr-sandra-glahn-suffering-dealing-with-the-vegas-shooting/I hope you'll find something here that ministers to you.

Drowning? Chris Can Help...

Today I'm happy to have as my guest Chris Maxwell, who has recently authored a new book about some deep trials he and his family have experienced and survived with some wisdom to share. 

Question: Tell us about your newest book, Underwater: When Encephalitis, Brain Injury, and Epilepsy Change Everything.

Chris:Underwater takes readers through my battle with encephalitis—a time I almost died, but lived and became a much different person. I now live with severe brain damage and epilepsy. Many things that were easy for me before I cannot do, or I find them difficult.My wife, Debbie, and all three of our sons contributed to the book. We included stories about how our lives changed as well as stories from others who live with epilepsy.  We also included advice from a counselor for caregivers—those family members and friends who are often forgotten in underwater stories.

Question:Underwater is an interesting title. Is there a story behind it?

Chris: Our son Taylor is a singer and songwriter. He wrote a song about how he felt while his father went through this struggle, and he titled the song “Underwater.” I planned to just let that be my working title while writing the book. But the publisher loved it, and Taylor gave us permission to use it.

Question: We've featured you here in the past. And I know this is your eighth book. You've also written lots of articles, and you have  edited and contributed content to many other books. Because it's so personal, was writing Underwater different? And if so, how.

Chris: It was not easy having to go through those experiences again. I interviewed family members, friends, doctors, counselors, and heard them describe me—the pre-illness me and the present me. I re-read my journal entrees. It was tough. But it needed to be a struggle so I could write a book through an honest lens. Reading all my medical reports hit me hard. I now work at a college, but because of my brain damage, many of my learning skills don't fit well with today's methods of learning. And when you struggle to remember names and have a variety of short-term memory issues, it is honestly embarrassing.My counselor said, “Writing this book had to be difficult for you. You had to go back through this painful experience from your past and honestly face your present struggles. How did it feel writing the book or, as you say, swimming underwater?”I answered with two words: “painfully healing.” We often miss out on our “painfully healing” encounters. It hurts to see a counselor. It is not soft or simple to seek therapy, accountability, or confrontation. It isn’t a thrill to read medical reports. It is not simple to address our pain. But, when we are willing, it can be therapeutic. We can bring a deeper healing to our inner struggles. No, it wasn't easy, but I am thankful I've visited again my life underwater.

Question: Why go through all that? To what purpose?

Chris: I wanted to write a book that I wish had been available for me and for my family when we went through this. We found books and websites with information, medical advice, explanations, and support groups. But I needed stories. I needed words written in ways this damaged brain could understand: the goals, the word structure, the suggestions. I needed real-life stories providing medical information in conversational style. And we wanted to bring inspiration to people going through similar situations—though their stories might include issues other than epilepsy.

Question: And the response from readers?

Chris: Many people—patients, caregivers, doctors, clergy—have thanked me for the honesty. They  thank me for revealing portions of life they were not aware of. A neurologist said, “Every doctor, every nurse, every clergy member, every teacher, and every governmental official needs a copy of Underwater. Remember, 1 in 26 people in the Unites States suffers epilepsy at some time in their lives. So, why aren’t we making more leaders aware of stories like yours?”

Question: In addition to directing Spiritual Life at Emmanuel College and writing, what other vehicles do you have for sharing your story?

Chris: Since leaving the senior pastorate after serving 19 years at a church in Orlando, I have been speaking in churches of many different denominations. Especially this year, I am speaking in conferences, colleges, churches, businesses, disability groups, missions organizations, and retreats. Schools have asked me to talk about unexpected adventures. Disease, disappointment, regret, addiction, disability, grief, relational pain, physical pain, mental pain, emotional pain. . . .  I seek to tell stories that allow us to cry together, laugh together, and find hope in the storms. I want us to swim together in our underwater adventures—through stories, thoughts, and confessions. I want us to come ashore together, seeking help from others instead of feeling alone.

Question: How can people order Underwater and/or contact you to speak?

Chris: Underwater is available on my website; or people can order the paperback or the eBook (the audiobook will be out soon) on Amazon. They can visit my Amazon page. They can reach me by email at CMaxMan11@gmail.com. My website is www.chrismaxwell.me. My twitter account is @CMaxMan and people can join my "Pause with Chris Maxwell" Facebook page. I hope your readers—whatever causes them to feel underwater—will find hope even in uncertain times.

Mary DeMuth: Not Marked

Happy birthday to my friend, Mary DeMuth! Today also marks the launch of her crowd-sourced book, Not Marked. Here's what Mary has to say about it:

I'm humbled and grateful to be here today. A huge thank youto Sandra for allowing me to share my heart.

A little background: I've sharedmysexual abuse story in the past few years, but I haven't always beenso open. Initially I kept it silent for a decade, then over-shared, then wentsilent another decade. The healing journey hasn't been easy, but it has beengood.

About a year ago, I sensed God wanted me to be bold insharing about sexual abuse. I wrote "TheSexy Wife I Cannot Be" on Deeper Story,which went crazy (so many comments), followed by "I'mSick of Hearing About Your Smoking Hot Wife" on ChristianityToday. The overwhelming response [editor's note: Huffington Post ran a piece that mentioned it] to those two posts prompted me towrite Not Marked: FindingHope and Healing after Sexual Abuse.

The book proved too risky for publishers, so Idecided to crowdfund it, which turned out to be an amazing success. Icannot believe that now I can hold Not Marked in my hands,and also offer it to you. What'sunique about it: It's written from the perspective of a survivor. Itdoesn't offer cliche answers. It's honest. And my husband shared his uniquejourney of how to walk a loved one through their healing from sexual abuse.

The following is an excerpt from Not Marked—two commonlyasked questions I get about recovering from past sexual abuse.

I don’t understand how any good canpossibly come from the sexual abuse I experience as a kid and as a teen. Andwhen I share my story, I often wonder if those people have any idea how much Ihurt.

Oh, I have felt your pain, and there are days I still remain in those samequestions.

Whatgood can come from suffering?

Forpart of that answer I go back to Job, who lost everything—his children, hislivelihood, his health, his will to live. He heard God at the beginning of hisordeal, but the scripture says he sees God at the end. That’s what I want. Tosee God. Counterintuitively, I see God in the midst of my trials much more thanI see Him in my prosperity. Those trials in my life drove me to God. Notfinding appropriate love made me long for perfect love. Feeling alone helped mereach my hand to a God who was there. When I think about it that way, I beginto thank God for the trials because they plunge me back into His embrace.

Still,if I believe God is omnipotent, loving, and omnipresent, I have a hard timereconciling why He would allow a child to be abused. After all, as a parent, Iwould do anything to prevent abuse in my kids. So why wouldn’t God? I don’thave adequate answers even today. However, I’ve come to the place where I havechosen to rest in God’s paradoxical plan. The truth is He will redeem it. Howhe accomplishes that is different for each person. Please know that these wordsI write are not flip or throwing out pat answers. These understandings havebeen hard won.

Dopeople have any idea how much you hurt? Probably not. Not everyone willunderstand your story. Not everyone will have empathy. And it’s unfair toexpect they will. Other victims may come close to understanding your pain. Butthe only One who truly understands exactly how you feel is God. So pour outyour pain to him.

Mindif I pray for you?

Lord, why? Why do You allow rape inpeople’s lives like you do? Help us to wrestle long enough so that we nestleonce again in Your arms. Be the protector we need. Help us to work through thequestions. I pray they drive us closer to You, not further away. Lord Jesus,redeem these awful parts of our story. Make them sing. Use us to touch many,many women with Your grace. But we need to be filled with Your grace first.Fill us to overflowing. Right now. In this moment. Shower us with Yourunconditional love. Help us see ourselves as You see us: spotless, beautiful,worthy of redemption. Amen.

 I don’t understand why sex could possiblybe considered good. It only makes me feel used. What’s your take?

Ihave to go back to the book of Genesis to see how sex was intended to be verygood. Unfortunately, after the fall of humanity, even the most intimate actbecame tainted with power struggles, abuse, and all sorts of darkness. To behonest, I still struggle with understanding the benefit of sex outside ofprocreation. But as I grow in my marriage, in that mutually beneficial place ofsurrender, I am beginning to glimpse its beauty. Sex is fun. Sex brings mecloser to my husband in a way nothing else does, binding me completely to him.Sex means pleasure. It provides release, particularly from stress. It helps ustake our minds off a crazy day. It teaches us servanthood and kindness. It caneven be funny.

Thatbeing said, I don’t think only sexual abuse victims struggle with sex beingbeautiful. In our subculture, we’ve been taught it’s a dirty no-no for so manyyears, that turning that switch from taboo to terrific isn’t easy.

Somany people feel as you do, that sex isn’t good, that it’s an act where oneperson takes and the other gives more than she wants. Feeling used is verynormal for a sexual abuse victim, and the shift from used to tolerable toenjoyable takes a lot of time. Part of that is re-training your mind that Godcreates good things—sex included. It’s recognizing that you experiencedviolation, and that violation warped sex for you. Pursuing healing and daringto go to the dark places eventually brings light to sex’s beauty.

Not Marked (e-version) 
Not Marked (print version)
The book's website 

The Tree of Life

Over the holidays, my hubby and I watched “The Tree of Life, a 2011 drama written and directed by Terence Malick. The flick had some big stars: Sean Penn, Brad Pitt, and Jessica Chastain. I liked it; Gary didn’t. The film begins with the question God asked Job when challenged about the “why” of suffering: Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? And you’ll recall God’s answer, as revealed in the Good Book: He took Job on a nature walk; He never gave a prose response. He just reminded Job of evidences that reveal God’s wisdom and power—attributes far beyond humans’ ability to comprehend. Which is probably where the answer to suffering lies. “The Tree of Life” explores the same question and answer as Penn’s character reflects on his childhood living in Texas in the 1950’s. Interspersed with that chronology, the viewer also sees footage of outer-space galaxies and an artist’s rendering of the world’s origins. When the movie finally released at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival after missing ’09 and ’10 release dates, it won the festival's golden prize. But not everybody loved Malick’s artistic images and all-over-the-map narrative with its unclear chronology. Hence hubby’s thumb’s down, and my thumb’s up. Guess you’ll have to see it and decide for yourself. Don't miss the gorgeous post-scoring. A soundtrack worth purchasing.